(APPO)Make a safety plan

You'll need:

• To get information about emergency services in your area.
• Next, you'll talk over and shape your plan with people who can help you. It's best to ask an advocate or victim service worker to help you make a safety plan.
• Then, you can talk to your children about what they need to know.

A safety plan is actions you can take to improve safety for yourself, your children, and other family members who may be at risk of abuse. Having a safety plan means you know how to get help if you're in danger from your partner, whether or not you've left the abusive relationship. Your children will also feel safer when they have a safety plan.

Making a safety plan is an important way to start getting control over your life.

Ways to protect yourself if you haven't left your partner

• In the few weeks before you are planning to leave, your partner may get suspicious and even more violent with fits of crying and begging for you to stay. If you are entering this cycle, call 911. Or plan to have a friend call or come by every evening at a certain time. They can call 911 if they suspect anything.
• If you’re worried about the children seeing the escalating violence or there’s violence against the children in the weeks before you leave or call 911, arrange to have them sleep at a friend or family member’s house for a few days.
• Always have a fully charged phone with you and hide it on yourself or in place where you can get to it easily when you’re being abused.
• You don't have to say much when you call 911. If you don’t have time to talk, just say a few important words like "help," "scared," "very hurt." You can even just let them overhear what's going on.
• 911 will either call you back or come to your house and ask to speak to you alone.
• If you call 911, your partner will be removed, and you and your children will get to stay in the house.
• Know where you can go if you decide to leave (such as a safe house).
• Know the phone numbers of emergency shelters or transition houses in your area.
• Find out where you can get a translator or disability support, if you need these services.
• Arrange for care for pets or other animals, if you need to do this.
• Save and set aside money in a safe place.
• Put a set of your house and car keys in a safe place.
• Pack a suitcase with extra clothes, toiletries, medicines, and prescriptions for you and your children, and leave the suitcase with a friend.
• Find a safe place to store all of your and your children's personal documents (such as birth certificates, passports, extra credit cards, etc.).
• Make photocopies of information about income and assets that are in your partner's name alone. Also write down their Social Insurance Number (SIN), BC CareCard/BC Services Card number, and birthdate.
• Screen calls on your home phone.
• If you use the internet at home, erase your browsing history whenever necessary, or use a computer at a library or other safe place.
• Tell your neighbours or friends to call the police if they hear frightening or loud noises, or if they see anything suspicious.
• Plan your emergency exits (where you'll leave your home in an emergency).
• Get legal advice about how to protect yourself and your children, and what to do about your family home and shared property.

Protect your children

• Teach your children how to call 911 or phone the police and fire department for help. Practise with them about what they'll say if they call for help.
• Choose a code word with your children and share it with friends, so everyone will understand they're in danger if they call for help.
• Teach your children where your planned emergency exits are. Tell your children that their job is to stay safe and protect themselves in an emergency, not to look after you.

Ways to protect yourself after you leave your partner

• Tell your boss, security supervisor, and other key people or friends at work about your situation. Talk to your employer about calling the police if you're in danger from your partner.
• Make sure your phone number, email address, and other personal information aren't on public lists, such as an employee phone list.
• Make sure your name isn't on your mailbox or your apartment building's directory.
• Arrange for your mail to be sent to friends or family.
• Screen calls on your cellphone and work phone.
• Shop and bank at different places and times than when you lived with your partner.
• Change your doctor, dentist, and other professional services you may use.
• Open a bank account in your own name and arrange with your bank not to mail you statements. Let all your creditors know that you aren't living with your partner. Cancel any secondary credit cards. Talk to your bank about any joint accounts: reduce limits on overdrafts and credit lines to what you owe now. If you need credit, ask the bank to open a line of credit in your name only.
• Get counselling for yourself and your children.
• Once you have a protection order, keep a copy with you at all times in case you need to show the police. Give a copy to your older children.

Protect your children

• The court won't always prevent a parent who has abused the other parent from seeing their children. But you can apply to the court to put measures in place to keep your children safe, such as supervised parenting time. Make safety plans for when your partner picks up and returns your children from visits; for example, have another adult with you or meet your partner in a safe public place.
• Let your children's school or daycare know if you have a protection order and give them a copy. Keep the school up to date about your situation. Make sure your children's school bus driver also knows about it.

More information

For more information about planning for your safety, see:

• Live Safe, End Abuse
• WorkSafe BC for resources about personal safety in the workplace

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